Recently the social networking site "The Facebook" instituted a new series of rules and guidelines for how they may handle their users' content. The Management would like to help his fellow Facebook users by providing an easy to use, solution for protecting themselves. Or you can just share this post on Facebook. That would probably work too. -- The Management.
"In response to the new Facebook guidelines I hereby declare that my saliva is attached to all of my personal details, illustrations, comics, paintings, professional photos, videos, most of my personal photos, some of the photos other people have tagged me in, as well as several memes I had no hand in creating but believe to be mine anyway because they say something deep and special about me, etc.
For commercial use of the above you just have to be okay with the fact that I licked it all before I put it up.
That's right. I licked them. All of them. And I'm not telling you where.
(Anyone reading this can copy this text and paste it on their Facebook Wall. This will place them under protection of the rule that says, generally, people don't want to touch, fondle, eat, or use things that has your spit on it. Barring significant others. Sometimes. Oh, and this means you have to go through and lick everything too. That's going to take some time. Especially if you get dry mouth easily. Or you had to seal a lot of envelopes today.
By the present communiqué, I notify Facebook that it is more than welcome to disclose, copy, distribute, disseminate, or take any other action against me on the basis of this profile and/or its contents. But it'll probably be touching something my tongue has touched. Can they live with that? I don't knoooow. The aforementioned possibility of touching something my tongue has also apply to employees, students, agents and/or any staff under Facebook's direction or control. The content of this profile is on the Internet, and fairly easy to access and steal anyway. But throughout grade school, middle school, and at least the first year of high school [and the second year of college - weird times], this was the best way to punish people who tried to take my stuff.)"